We’ve all heard the phrase “Don’t cry over spilled milk,” right? It’s supposed to be a reminder not to stress over things we have no control over. But for breastfeeding moms, this saying takes on a whole new level of meaning, especially when that “spilled milk” is the milk you worked hard to produce. I can only speak from my own experience, but as a mom, I know this can feel devastating regardless of the milk your baby receives.

Listen, I’ve been there before. Lots of times actually. As a “just enougher,” my body produces just enough to keep my littles happy and fed. There are some days that we struggle so every single drop of that “liquid gold” counts. So, last week when I accidentally spilled an ounce or so of freshly pumped milk, I had a moment. Although tears didn’t fall, I felt a mix of frustration, guilt, and exhaustion. For moms who need to pump, it’s not just about the milk. It’s about the effort, the late nights, and the daily commitment to provide for your baby.

Being a just enougher means that I have little to no room for waste. Each ounce is precious, and every spill feels like such a setback. But here’s what I’ve learned through it all: just like with spilled milk, we can not hold on too tightly to the things that are out of our control. As moms, we’re doing our best daily. Things will happen and things will go wrong, it is inevitable. Milk will spill, schedules will fall apart, and sometimes exhaustion will win. But hey, let’s take a look at the bigger picture. You are showing up for your baby and that right there is what truly matters.

So while the old saying tells us not to cry over spilled milk, I say: it’s okay to feel the feelings and no matter what you feel, it’s valid. Just don’t let it hold you back or down for too long. We are all in this together and doing our best for our little ones and at the end of the day, that is more than enough.